I was excited to work at the college
bookstore at first, but what I wrote about it in a previous post
wouldn't hold true for the actual rush week that was this week (which
is maybe comparable to Black Friday for regular retail workers). I
got scheduled for 34 hours, pretty much all the time I wasn't in
class. It wasn't bad when there were lots of books to put away or
when the store was so crowded you could count on having to help
someone find their books every time you turned around. Because as
I've said before, having your mind engaged in something is better for
your health than having to wander. But being on my feet for so many
hours straight was something I wasn't used to. (I seriously don't
remember how I worked in a warehouse for two and a half years a few
years ago). And I was so paranoid about not taking too long of a
break that I don't feel I gave myself enough time to eat or rest or
whatever. Because I was always hungry, for one thing. And physically,
it was just uncomfortable, and this is why. When you're on your feet,
you're not sedentary the way you are in a cubicle, but it also isn't
really exercise. My comfort zone is having sedentary periods mixed
with periods of real exercise where I can digest properly and
regulate my breathing and center of gravity better and all that. I
don't know why almost every job I've had I've had to compromise the
way I'd normally behave if I wasn't on the clock and being paid to do
something. (And by 'behave' I mean physical health choices). And
that's why I'm studying health!
Thankfully, on most days after this
I'll get to just be home until mid-afternoon when I'll drive up to
campus for class and nothing else. I am really good with that! One
thing I never liked about college (and this comes from my FSU days as
well) was trudging around campus carrying a ton of shit. It's way
different than running (which I enjoy) without stuff weighing you
down. It goes back to the gravity and breathing thing. You don't feel
light the way you do when you're either resting or exercising for
real. Instead, it's this in-between state of being which is neither
rest nor exercise. And I don't know if it's good or bad, but I know
it doesn't make me feel good. And I'm only writing about this because
I'm viewing it as scientific inquiry. I've been so much more obsessed
with my body and physical feelings over time that I've wondered if
it's been too much. You know how when you're so busy with other
things that you don't think about physical sensations as much and
things just take care of themselves? I want that to be the norm for
me. But sometimes I just can't help crossing over into obsession land
when, for reasons beyond my control, I'm NOT busy enough or I have a
job whose details I didn't anticipate. It's crazy.
I still feel like I'm trying to recover
from the stuff I did this week. I know I messed something up in my
body a few days ago when I spent too much time in one position while
stretching, and as a result, felt like something shifted in my
mid-section. Like above my stomach but below my chest. I think it
happened once before and it eventually went away on its own, but it's
uncomfortable. And frustrating when you feel like no matter what you
do, it's not directly fixable except by waiting it out. And why did I
spend longer in one particular position than normal? Because I didn't
feel like myself after working and trudging around campus all day one
day and not getting to stretch in between and...yeah. I guess I've
said enough. I'm just glad the week is over and textbook employees
won't be needed much more now. I have two more shifts, five hours
tomorrow and four on Tues. Orientation for my tutoring job is also
Tues., as well as class that night. So I have class and assignments,
maybe GFIT auditions next Sat., getting birthday presents for Sept.
birthdays, and becoming a long-distance auntie again in a few days.
That's what's coming up!
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