Work and Health

I'm still at the tutoring job. After re-reading my previous post, it made me laugh a little because I'm doing those things we're not “supposed” to do – like rewriting things for people, etc. It's just easier that way. And no one's said anything to me about it, so I'm just gonna continue in the groove I'm in. I also have a method – no matter what type of paper it is, I always read for grammar first. If I try to do content while grammar stuff is staring me in the face, I can't do it. I fix grammar first and then I go back and do content. Also, I like how when it comes to writing the summary of my review, it often requires some thought to compose what I want to say. And when I come up with just the right wording, it feels really good and satisfying. Because it came from me. And maybe no one else would've come up with that same thing. I love putting words to page, no matter what it is. Oh, and the fact that someone will read what I wrote to them and be able to improve on what they submitted – that feels good too.

It does still get tiring sometimes. And there is the distraction thing – having to block out the sound of people talking. (On my phone I play music that I have the least attachment to because it blocks out the talking but doesn't distract me the way some music would). And sometimes there's pressure to finish a paper in a certain amount of time. There's a timer at the top of the window that keeps track of how long it takes you to finish. They want us to generally not go over 30 minutes per paper. Now, depending on the length and quality of the paper, that may or may not be feasible. I like it when I do get through papers fairly quickly, but there have been times when I've spent up to an hour on one. And I'm not going to short-change someone by only reading the first few pages, as has been suggested on occasion. I'd rather my work be better in quality rather than quantity. And, of course, when there are hundreds of papers waiting in the queue, that can be stressful too.

But another thing that's good is the freedom and flexibility with the job. Freedom because we can pretty much get up and walk around whenever we feel like it and flexibility because the place is open 24/7 so we can pretty much work whenever we want. I might miss that in the future. But I might have a chance to grow if I get something in health coaching. It's funny to think about growth and advancement, isn't it? How much does it matter if you “get promoted”? Having a certain title, or even an increasing salary, isn't always everything. I've always been more concerned with personal growth. Some people who work day jobs without much chance of growth may still grow outside of work. Or they might grow in their job, regardless of whether or not there's an official “promotion.” I think as a health coach, I'd always be learning by helping people and keeping up with research in the field and I'd be as happy as a clam. And who knows if one day, with my accumulation of knowledge, I might be able to contribute something to the field myself. That, to me, is growth. I don't know what other “title” would indicate career advancement for me. There are wellness coordinators who do program planning and help with the health of a bigger population (as opposed to coaching individuals one-on-one). But even that could be more of a lateral move. It just depends on what you like doing.

What do I like doing? Well, in another life I might've gone into the publishing world. Hell, even working in a bookstore would be fun (I worked in a library once, and I did like that). But I chose to study exercise science when I did because I thought being physically active was the missing piece in my life. And I've since discovered maybe it wasn't. Because I think I changed my eating habits and lifestyle to accommodate the non-physical work I was doing enough to not NEED exercise the way I thought I did. This may seem blasphemous. But if you think about it, when people are starving, they conserve energy by not exerting themselves as much, right? Not that I'm a starving person; I'm just using it as an example to make a point that it's about energy balance. People think they need to exercise to stay in shape. To an extent, that's true. Everyone needs SOME physical activity. But do what feels good to you. Listen to your body. Get enough sleep. Tap into your intuition and things will be good.

Is my intuition working for me? Am I healthy? Well, I'm a work in progress like anyone else. And this sort of goes back to the topic of what it is I like doing. I like figuring out how to help myself. And that sort of led to helping others with health. We're all on the same journey, aren't we? Trying to figure out the best lives for ourselves, figuring out how to be our best selves. And if helping others helps me, then I can say I've succeeded.

I can't really remember what I've mentioned regarding my own health, but why not recap a little? Two things that have affected me have been being underweight and having issues with digestion. In attempting to address these things, I've come across possibilities such as SIBO, leaky gut (when the intestinal lining is compromised), impaired motility, low stomach acid, vitamin deficiency, IBS. I've seen my regular doctor, GI doctors, a dietitian, and counselors. Often, it's hard to pinpoint something specific. Sometimes it's beneficial to approach things from the perspective of integrative / functional / holistic medicine, which aims to treat “the whole person” rather than “symptoms.” (I know there's a lot of debate over that versus traditional medicine but I advocate for both). I've tried probiotics (some, not all), enzymes (just a sample because they're really expensive), vitamin supplements, and recently an SSRI. I was really hesitant about that last one because I don't have depression, but this specific one also treats OCD and bulimia. I don't believe I have either of those things exactly...if anything I'd diagnose myself with EDNOS. (Actually, I think it's called something else now but I forget what it is). I've even read some things that suggested this SSRI as a last resort for people with IBS. Popular conception says it's supposed to make you feel things less. I think mostly they mean feel emotions less, but could it also mean feeling physical symptoms less? Could higher serotonin somehow improve digestion? The brain and the gut are, after all, tied extremely closely together. I'm very curious about that. I had gotten a few injections of vitamin B12 before starting on the OTC supplement version I'm taking now, and I recall feeling better with the injections. But they were expensive. I don't know if having them again would be my fix. Or if trying a prescription strength probiotic would be. It's a continuous effort to find your optimal functioning sometimes. But you keep trying, you keep learning.