Sunday, March 20, 2016

Little bump in the road, but still going

Things have been going a lot differently than planned. The coaching job I was so excited about in my last post fell through. I had a few more interviews after that, and they didn't come through either. The time came when I had to look for any job in the world that would give me a paycheck, whether it was in the health field or not. I really thought I'd be luckier than that. I did not want to be a person who got a graduate degree that she wouldn't use. (An undergrad degree that I didn't use? Fine. But TWO degrees and neither of them is used? Come on. I know it happens, but seriously, come on). Anyway, I just started a job editing English papers for students. It's something that's sort of up my alley, considering my writing background. And it's something that's totally absorbing (which I haven't had in a while and am glad for). And it's challenging. That's because I'm really not supposed to just “edit.” Or rewrite things. Or correct things. As much as I want to. Being a tutor, I'm supposed to note certain things and explain what the problem is without giving the answer. It doesn't sound hard, but it is. Especially when you can't even address everything that's wrong in a paper. You have to address the “higher order concerns” first. Then if you see something that recurs throughout the paper, you note it the first couple times and then hope that they search the rest of the paper on their own for more cases of the mistake. Yes, writing is something I enjoy, so the job is good in that sense. But when you can't necessarily do things the way you want and you have to follow certain protocol and meet deadlines, that can take some of the enjoyment out. And it does get tedious.

Basically, what I've been turning over in my head is the question of whether I did the right thing in going back to school in an attempt to change careers or whether I could have found something like what I'm doing now and been satisfied with an okay job. I think I did what I had to do. I had to get out and explore something else that was interesting to me because I felt stuck. And I'm still going to try to get something I went to grad school for. (My job now is part-time so I can keep looking).
If I'm lucky and do get a health coaching job, will I face a similar issue with the writing / editing thing? Where in theory it's something I enjoy but in the workplace it becomes less enjoyable for whatever reason? I don't know, but I can't worry about that sort of thing. Not yet, anyway. I have to be of the mind that I still have something to offer, something to contribute in that field. And it has a lot to do with the details and questions I asked myself about other jobs I had (including the one I have now). Like are you at your optimal health when you're doing something that's “okay”? Is it a matter of simply being busy? Is it about being challenged? What about freedom and structure in the workday? Are you okay with sitting for most of it and just moving around on breaks? Is it better to have something that's project-based rather than meeting some sort of quota? To have something where you do the same thing all day or where you have a variety of tasks? When I made the decision to leave the types of jobs I had (which were mostly doing the same thing all day – which can be good and bad) I was sort of investing in the idea that I'd get to explore those questions with people for a living. And figure it out for myself in the process. (I know it might be a little bit of a stretch to connect health and wellness with that stuff when mostly it's connected to nutrition and exercise. But I'm connecting it all. I'm interested in it all. So whatever). So I guess the bottom line is that I'm good with what I'm doing. I didn't expect that I'd be doing an unrelated job again while I continue to look for what I really want, but sometimes that's just the way of the universe.

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