More goings-on

Well, I've done the warm-up, combos, and cool-down, and now I have one class left to teach – which will be the whole thing (with strength / floor work being the last new component). I still go back and forth between feeling like I have a handle on it and not feeling like I do. But I think part of that is being busy with other classes at the same time and having to juggle things. I feel like if I spent more time on group exercise stuff, I'd eventually get to a better, more confident place. But it does take time. That's why I'm not sure if I'll be ready to apply for an actual teaching position next semester or not. Regardless, at least I'll have my certification and the knowledge that I'll need for my internship.

The tutoring (since I haven't talked about that in a while) is going pretty well. Although no one ever told me exactly how to tutor or gave me much direction, I found I was okay with that. I've kinda been able to wing it, talk with the kids, explain some things in a way I hope was helpful to them. So I kinda surprised myself in picking this up. And in liking it. I never wanted to be a teacher because it seemed scary to me. And maybe there were some other reasons too, I just can't think of them right now. But being in the classroom and watching the teachers has made me think perhaps I could've done it. Maybe in another life. There are many things I think I could've done, but there isn't always time to do all of them. Sometimes you have to choose. But that's okay. I'm still enthusiastic about worksite wellness and health promotion (and maybe wellness coaching?)

Wellness is such a priority for me because it affects so many things. I feel like if you're not well, then everything else goes to crap. But maybe that attitude is somewhat rooted in my ocd nature and compulsion to control things and have everything be perfect all the time. If I can't control something, it drives me crazy. (Maybe that's not the healthiest, but at least I recognize it). Anyway, wellness is something I've always felt like I could control for the most part. A lot of times you CAN control it - by choosing what you eat, how much you move around, etc. (And you can choose what you do for a living, choose your friends, choose your outlook...there's so much!) So choose healthy, be healthy / happy. And talk about the things that escape your control despite your choices.

One thing that sometimes escapes my control is reproductive hormones that change my body constitution / mess up normal body functions even though I personally don't change my normal habits. It's frustrating, it takes time out of my schedule...and exercise sometimes makes it worse, ironically. So I've had to force myself this week even though it was killing me. Another thing was having the internet go out when I was trying to do statistics stuff. I'm no stranger to it going out, because it does a lot. But I had to redo work I'd already done because the program I was doing it in froze and I couldn't save it. And on top of that, the printer went beserk for two days because of something I tried to print from the stats program. I'm guessing that was due to the internet too. It would randomly spit out one page here and there (which took a thousand hours by itself), it would freeze...so after turning it off and giving up, on day two it started trying to do that job again. And it kept freezing again. I don't know how it finally came out, but it did, thankfully. It was just such a nightmare. And another...I'm getting all bug bitten which makes me wonder if there's something in my house. Usually I'll hear a mosquito if there is one, but I haven't found it. Last week I had to deal with a tree outside my window being cut down which was distracting. Another night I lost sleep over a palmetto bug (or flying cockroach, I'm never sure which) being in my room. Those things scare the living shit out of me for some reason, so I always end up barricading myself in another room to sleep when that happens. No joke. In the grand scheme of things, these are probably not catastrophic events. But as I said earlier, if it's something I can't control and if it gets in the way of things being perfect, I get down and frustrated. But what are you gonna do? Maybe say “this, too, shall pass.” And think about the things you have to be happy about. Because they are what's most important and what get you through.