An ending

Oh, how I was tempted to write more between my last post and now. But I held off because I knew that in the midst of eventfulness, it'd only make sense to wait until it calmed down. And now I think it has. Basically, my job kept morphing from day to day. That, in itself, isn't always a bad thing, but other important things need to be in place in order for it to be okay. And things weren't in place. Starting with company services (the third bullet point in my list from previous post), the agenda went from us providing services directly to clients, and then to us not even having our own clients but training other people on how to do what we WOULD'VE done ourselves but decided not to. Then it went to us trying to get other people to start a business like the one we would've had. I just wasn't comfortable with that. In fact, there are a slew of other things I could mention that contributed to my decision to walk away, but I don't know if it makes much sense to go into it. So maybe I won't. But it took a lot of courage for me to finally make a graceful exit. Even though I was feeling frustrated, I didn't want to show it because I hate leaving things on a bad note. And so I'm glad I was able to articulate that the job just didn't feel like a match for me and there were no hard feelings. Now it's time to pick up the pieces and move on.

Update, agenda, etc.

Back in the days when I worked for a direct mail company, I wrote blog post upon blog post about daily tasks because they'd constantly build; when you have a lot of things to keep track of like that, writing about it (at least for me) provides an extra measure of organization. I find myself in a similar position now with the health and wellness company I'm trying to help get off the ground. There are now clearly distinct areas that need to be focused on (and for which I've designated separate areas in my folder). They are:

• Sales stuff – literature & info about companies (including the Tampa Wellness Council) that I'm trying to inform the team about (as well as event dates)
• Certification stuff – specifically the WellCoaches training that I want to do and need to talk with my boss about. She keeps talking about having us get certified for all these different things, but this one (which is probably more rigorous than the ones she has in mind) is the one I want to do and I hope I can convince her to just let me do that one.
• Company services, i.e. designing the programs we're going to implement (mine being weight management). This is where I think the coach training will come in handy. Could I still work with clients beforehand and does she have a plan for what she wants me to do with them already? Probably, but she's asking us to contribute our thoughts to the process and have a hand in creating things. So we're not just employees, but partners. That's one thing I like about the job despite the uncertainty.
• Tax stuff – the newest addition to the agenda which I hadn't accounted for but need to now. Not only will I have to file quarterly, but there's a lot of extra stuff she's having us do that requires a lot more paperwork and a lot more learning on my part. It's like another class in itself that she said she'll set aside time to work with us on.

So now that I've got this stuff delineated in my head, I hope we can tackle them in an organized fashion / cooperative manner. In my first week, we spent a lot of time learning about the company and the boss's vision. In the second week that continued somewhat, but we also had to 'let the dust settle' as people made decisions about whether this was the right place for them, etc. Now that we have our small team together, I just want to start really being productive. I think the others feel the same. I'm praying this works out because sometimes you encounter things that seem too good to be true and then that ends up being the case. Promises are made and you keep chugging along in the hope that you'll get a payoff and then you don't or you end up costing yourself money because after all the energy you put forth and the hope you pinned on the outcome, it'd be a shame to walk away, ya know? I haven't gotten a red flag to walk away yet, but I'm nervous nonetheless. I don't want anything to come up that will make me leave because I'll feel like “damn, I wanted that so bad! And I passed up other more traditional jobs that might've been safer.” I'm praying this works out.

As for my digestive stuff, I've had a few good days of feeling better, mysteriously. And I've gotten a nice break where if I want to schedule doctor appts, I have 2 week days per week free to do that (for the time being) without missing work. Something I wrote down the other day that I don't remember if I mentioned on the blog was that I always hated not knowing when I'd get to eat or when I'd get to move around, and that may have partly contributed to my disordered habits. I still don't always know when I'll get to do those things, but somehow they're working out with me sort of going with the flow of things. Going with the flow doesn't always equate to some great compromise the way it somehow used to for me. And that's a good thing.

As for my reading that I do for myself on my own time, it may take a bit of a backseat at the moment, but that's okay. (The reading for myself includes both 'pleasure' pleasure and 'educational' pleasure...fiction and memoirs related to health, plus online discussion forums and support groups that I mentioned in my last post). I checked out one forum and one book related to it so I can sort of check it off as having been done and don't have an urgent need to continue with it or make it part of my normal schedule. But the other, like the 'pleasure' pleasure reading, is still on the plate for consumption if I ever get to it. But my job / work comes first. I used to think I could relate some of it to work (eating disorder stuff), but as engaging as that subject still is to me, it's second to my coaching clients in real life who don't have eating disorders (that's relegated to psychologists and I'm not a psychologist). And since I don't think my personal health situation is at the forefront right now (and since I don't have time), I might scratch in-person support groups off the list completely. If I were really in need of more communication / networking, I'd go for it, but I think I'll be getting enough through my work. I've got co-workers and whoever I happen to come in contact with through marketing our company, my existing family and friends, and maybe my couple former classmates who I could reach out to which I haven't gotten around to in a while. So yeah, I've got a lot going on.

Job and Health Update

Week two of new job finished. It's hard to know where to start when writing about it because things are still kind of speculative / in the birthing stages. In other words, it's not simply a new location but more like a new business that's just getting off the ground. And along with that is figuring out exactly what is going to be happening on a daily basis and how things are going to happen. Especially when there are so few of us running the place. We're going to need a lot more staff (for specific things like medical billing, nursing assistants, sales, etc). But for now, it's the owner / doctor, head nurse, office manager, and me. And we're all considered consultants, as we're all going to be working with clients (mine will be in the weight management program). I guess during the past few days we've continued learning about more of the products we're going to be prescribing. One additional modality we covered yesterday was the ionic foot bath. It's basically a cleansing process in which the water interacts with a compound electric current that enables toxins to be released from your body. After your feet soak in it, the water turns different colors, each of which indicates a certain type of toxin being released.

Today we (one of the new hires and I) got to see our first appointment. A client with stomach cancer had come in a few times previously to start treatment. This afternoon he continued with another foot cleanse and a session on the bio-mat. He'll be coming in next week as well. We aren't booked with many appointments yet, although the goal is to eventually get booked up. But we have to be ready for that. For example, having the office set up – some of which got done today.

 

I haven't written about my own health updates since before my last post, but I might as well now. The first round of medicine I took (which I thought was going to be a magical cure as the industry makes it out to be) did nothing for me. I went searching for possible reasons it might not work and came upon some alternative medicines that purported to do the same thing. So my doc prescribed me another one. I'm a little more than halfway through that one, and I'm still not noticing any improvement. I'm really confused and concerned about this. And looking forward to making a follow-up appt in which I say, “okay, what is going on here?” The fact that I'm now working for an alternative health company has not escaped me, and it's sort of an option in my mind. But I guess I'll see what happens.

In thinking about the source of certain medical conditions like mine, psychology still enters the picture. I'm not saying that the condition itself is psychological in nature; it is truly a physical condition. But did a psychological condition lead to a physical manifestation? Again, we learned about that in the video we watched the first day of orientation. But it's interesting. For example, I think my mind controls how much energy I have sometimes. The more I have to do, the more energized I am and the less I have to do, the less energized I am. I think weight issues and GI problems are related. When you don't have a lot to do, your consciousness automatically goes inward and you have to compensate for not having a lot to do. In contrast, when you're challenged, your attention is on the task and the body takes care of itself. There has been evidence that anorexics, when given the opportunity to care for others, focused less on how their bodies felt and more on who they were caring for. It's scientific. The flow theory is scientific as well. The optimal state of being is when one is doing something at which he is skilled but also challenged. When we aren't engaged in this state enough, that's when problems occur. 

I started jotting down my symptoms again this week in an attempt to see if there was a pattern or a difference depending on how much I ate / exercised, etc. I was curious about whether I might feel better if I ignored the discomfort for a bit and just pushed through with 'normal' eating, functioning, etc. For instance, perhaps the things I feel are normal when you're trying to get weight back up? But I'm not really convinced of that because if I ignore the discomfort for too long, it eventually builds up and I have to address it again. And medically speaking, diagnostics do indicate that something is amiss.

Perhaps I could go looking for some networking / educational opportunities again in new / different places than I may have tried before. (I use 'networking' synonymously with 'support' 'cause it sounds cooler, hehe). But it's been a while and I've been through a lot in recent years and I'm eager to keep growing and expanding as much as I can. Especially now that school is practically finished. (One last paper to finish this weekend and I'm completely done!) What's on my plate now is work, possibly the wellness coaching certification still at some point, reading for pleasure when I can (have to keep up with my goodreads list), and getting my health squared away. And whatever educational things that might be tied in specifically with my job. It's a lot, but none of it is anything I don't wanna do. I wanna do it all, and I want to have endless hours in a day to do it!

New job!

I just got hired for a job I applied to! I interviewed for it last week on Monday, got the call on Wed. evening, then started orientation on Tues. this week. It's at a holistic health center that does naturopathy / alternative medicine, and they're just opening a new location (with plans to expand even more). I like being part of things that are just starting up and teams that are close-knit. And I like that my passion and work will finally be combined!

On day one we watched a film about how the body and mind are connected. That was really inspiring. I remember learning about some of it in psychology – about how people in modern society find themselves in the 'fight or flight' mindframe more often than is healthy. It's designed to protect us, but whenever we're in protection mode, it inhibits the growth function of cells and that leads to disease. Even the word disease can be broken down into 'dis' and 'ease,' meaning when we're not 'at ease,' we have disease. How true!

We also started learning about the things the center does / offers. One thing is hydration therapy with kangen water. It's water that you filter through a machine to alter the ph level to increase oxygenation. Pretty fancy. They also do nutrition and weight management, stress management, and pain / disease management (particularly for patients whose doctors have given up or given them a terminal diagnosis). With alternative strategies and reshaping of thoughts, people have overcome cancer, Alzheimer's patients have improved their memory...I'm impressed. Two modalities we learned about yesterday which were completely new to me were pulsed electromagnetic field therapy and bio-mats. The magnetic therapy breaks up red blood cells and enables circulation to improve, and the bio-mats are made with amethyst crystal which provides far infrared rays and negative ions to energize cells.

What will I be doing? Well, a couple of things. Since I have a little bit of experience with biometric screening (thanks to the undergrad exercise testing and prescription class I took), I might do some of that at health fairs. (They'll have nurses on staff to do it at the center). I might be doing some appt scheduling and reception also. But the clinical director liked that I had a wellness background, so she wants to have me work with her on corporate wellness stuff. Details are still being ironed out, but overall I'm excited that I got this opportunity